When Claude, the youngest of Rosie and Penn’s five boys, decides at a young age that he wants to be a girl, (Poppy) the entire family is faced with a challenge for which they were not prepared. Lovingly, they stumble through this new reality of handling gender dysphoria, while making mistakes along the way. When the family relocates to a new city, they decide not to tell anyone else that Poppy is a girl with a penis. She thrives in her new life until the secret comes out.

this is how it always is is a beautifully written story by Laurie Frankel, whose own son is now her daughter. It is not an autobiography, but because of her closeness to the situation, she can profoundly convey the raw, emotional turmoil the parents and siblings go through in order to protect Poppy’s right of privacy.

This paragraph from pages 84 and 85 of the book accurately describes the dilemma every parent faces.

You never know what is wrong, what should be done to fix it or how to make that happen. “You only guess. This is how it always is. You have to make these huge decisions on behalf of your kid … You never have enough information. You don’t get to see the future… It’s impossible. It’s heartbreaking. It’s maddening. But there’s no alternative.”

5 Stars. Book Club Recommended. This is a very thought-provoking book about a subject that has long been uncomfortable to discuss.

And now for my Recipes For Readers Recommendation:

Peanut Butter Balls. Thanks to Sarah for making these for our family!